The more I get older, the more I start to see how much we are all faking it. This is not a sad post, but rather an observant one. People, including myself, put up this mask of everything being put together and create this false reality that they want to present to the world. Growing up, I would look at people older than me and see them as those who had their shit together. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Everyone is taking it one day at a time. There is no perfect person out there.
The thing that I find amusing about this is that we all know it. This isn’t an original thought that I just came up with and wanted to share with the world. Yet, we still for some reason manage to put so much pressure on ourselves to showcase these false realities. Why do we do this? Why have we set these expectations for ourselves that hold us emotionally stunted? Why is it so wrong to take a second and at the very least admit to ourselves, “damn, no I don’t got this. I need a human minute to pull myself together.” There is nothing wrong with that.
You know what else is worse about all this? We leave this mindset for our children to inherit as well. I know that’s what happened to me. I had to retrain myself to appreciate my weaknesses so that I could get stronger as a result of having faced them. There was a time when I refused to even acknowledge those same weaknesses. And let’s please not get it confused, I still have not completely overcome this way of thinking that can sometimes hold me back.
The solution seems simple when put in words on a computer screen. Be more open and honest about how we are feeling with ourselves, first and foremost. Then, from there have open dialogues with those who we share our lives with, including our children. Let me just go ahead and add here that I am not saying to lay out heavy details that may be incomprehensible to a child. What I mean is maybe explaining to a child that even though you are having a moment of weakness, you will get through it or explaining that ups and downs are a part of the life process.
I know as a child, if something was wrong, I felt it, but we never talked about it. Somehow the wrong things would just go away and I would never understand why they came to be and where they went. However, when good things happened, we always talked about that. I became conditioned with that mindset, that we just don’t talk about things that were wrong…at least not as much as we perhaps should have.
However, life is not a computer screen. It takes more effort than just typing things down and solutions to materialize in front of us. That does not mean that healthy mindsets of being real and honest human beings is not attainable. I want to believe that we have the capacity of being positive and healthy to the best that we can. The key is putting these words into actions. I’m struggling, but I’m doing the best I can and I hope you do as well.