Ok, kids, story time. I’m about to lay a whole lot of wisdom on you to do with as you please.
I met a woman who told me the hardest think that she’s ever had to do. She told me the most difficult thing that she ever had to do was give up her baby girl…twice. Her beautiful little blessing. You see, when she was younger, she was raped. She was forced to be a woman before she was ready to give herself to someone. She told me that she thought she would never get over it. It was terrible enough to go through that alone, but then to end up with his seed within her? Well, she knew that if ever she was being tested of her faith, it was this moment right here. She knew that she could get an abortion, but when the time came, she couldn’t get herself to move forward with it. She wanted me to know that in that moment, she understood the power behind a woman’s right to choose. She said that if anyone forced her to keep her blessing, she would have resented that child, because the choice would have been made for her. She said, given the choice, she knew the one she had to make. She ended up carrying that tiny blessing for nine months.
She takes a breath and holds my gaze. Her eyes are filled with love for the daughter she can no longer hold. With tears brimming over, she says,
“When she was born, I couldn’t bear the thought of holding her, because I was afraid that I would never let go if I did.”
Her family had arranged for an adoption and she knew this was the best option for her. She knew the family her daughter would go to. Her daughter was going to live well and she was happy that she could give her that.
” I left my heart with her, so that she will always carry her mother with her wherever she goes.”
She told me that she thought doing that would be the most difficult thing she would go through. But it wasn’t.
She said she was able to keep in touch with the family, but only through letters to give her the occasional check in. Three years had passed since the birth of her baby girl. And she received the news. Her daughter was out playing and there was an accident. Her baby girl hit her head and there was nothing the doctors could do.
Her voice bursting with emotion, she says,
“The world that I had worked so hard to put back together, shattered again. I did not think that I would make it through this one. How could God do this to me? How could he take something that I had never asked for and then make me love it and take it so ruthlessly? Where was the sense in it all?”
She said giving up her daughter twice was the hardest thing that she has ever done. I looked at her with respect and admiration at her strength. Her courage.
Nothing more needs to be said except her last parting words. Very appropriate ending to this post as well. She said,
“I had to move on, you see? I had to let time heal me. And, lord knows, I have my days where I want to give up, but then I feel my guardian angel by my side. I feel the warmth and love she offers me. Telling me to keep living. Telling me to make something of the life I was given. To use my genesis to bring people together. To spread love and positivity. Yes, life gets hard. Yes, life gets downright unbearable at times. But, it’s about how you choose to make that a part of your story to share with the world. We all have a story. This is a part of mine. I’m sharing it like this.”
Now it’s my turn to ask you: how are you sharing yours?