Thoughts

Today I am sad. Today, I need to be asked how I am a few times, because the first ten times you ask, I’ll probably lie. The eleventh time I’ll tear up, because the memories will hit stronger than the first ten times. Finally, after a couple more prods, when you ask the thirteenth time, I’ll give in to the desire to break down in tears. September 13th marks the anniversary of the birth of an angel who came and went from my life.

It’s funny, because I am not one to run from my feelings. In fact, I’m known to explore those feelings of hurt and encourage those around me to explore their own hurts and learn and grow from them as well. But, this one hurts a bit different from all the rest. This cut deeper. Time waits for no man or woman and in this case the saying is no less factual. Time passed and life kept moving. This little angel’s memory drifted further and further from my mind…like holding on to water in cupped hands. I no longer remember if her black curls were really as raven black as my memory recalls, or if her piercing gray eyes were the same shade as her grandmother’s?

Who she was to me is not important to you. Who she was to me and the place she held in my heart can no person ever hold ever again. Today I mourn a life gone too soon. Today I celebrate a spirit that was always dancing and exploring new adventures. This one is for you, my love…meri jot.